Yoggx't as a whole is by and far the most sane out of the party, but he isn't without a few...quirks. Yoggx't's player is a huge fan of Order of the Stick, which is a little important to know so you understand where he's coming from on the following situation.
The group has just found a jeweler to sell some jewels they found in that aforementioned dungeon. they accidentally revealed that they took these particular jewels from that dungeon, and they should technically be the property of the town.
The Jeweler takes this in stride, and says that seeing as he has dirt on them, he offers to peddle them some magic items, which are illegal in the city. Yoggx't tells him he'll discuss it with him after he pawns off the jewels.
The group makes a good couple thousand GP, and Yoggx't asks about any item that can change the user's appearance to a different race. The jeweler sells him an amulet that makes him appear to be a tall half-elf for 750 GP. Then Yoggx't says this:
"Do you have any belts of reverse gender?"
The jeweler gives him a funny look and starts to talk when he cuts in;
"Oh, don't worry, just for entertainment."
The jeweler starts getting very uncomfortable and says "We don't carry an-"
"Oh, it's not for me; it's for him." Yoggx't's player points at Fline
O_O
After a very long period of time, The (mortified) jeweler replies "Too much information, pal."
anyway, just felt that most of the time, the wackiness is centered around the other players, and so I'd share one quick story about Yoggx't. I guess the moral of the story is when you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Triumph against a campaign breaker
At this point in the story, our min-maxing friend Shadowsnake (I really hate that name) was playing a different character. He played an Oread Fighter named Abrams. I'll have to tell you, by this point I had picked up on this habit he had of intentionally trying to break my game, which came in handy.
Part of the map I made was a haunted house that had sunk into the ground. The idea was that they'd have to guess at which doors to go through, and some rooms were haunted. However, as I thought more and more about this, the more I thought that Abrams/Shadowsnake (seriously, that name sucks) would simply bust through the walls and make a beeline for the exit.
I thought of just having the walls be unbreakable, but I didn't like the idea of that. it'd just make the experience feel more like a video game. So I came up with an alternate plan, and it hinged entirely on Abrasnake breaking through the wall in the very first room. He doesn't do that, the whole thing falls apart, the encounter becomes crazy easy for everyone.
Like clockwork, the instant I tell him the walls are made of wood, he throws his finger into the air and shouts "I SMASH THROUGH THE DOOR!"
I don't even try to hide my grin. I tell him "You bash through the wall with your fist. Your hand is now in the other room."
"I pull my hand out and continue bashing through the door." he answers
"It gets stuck."
"What?" he says
"It gets stuck." I repeat. "You all start hearing giggling enter all corners of the room." I usually DM with a computer nearby, and so I start up "Hello Zepp" from Saw, which you can listen to Right Here (it'll open in a new tab)
"Make a strength check." I say. He rolls a twenty. I tell him "You tug and pull with all your might, finding strength you never knew you had, but to no avail."
"The giggling grows steadily louder." I slowly start turning up the speakers. The look on his face here is something to remember. Then, I up the ante.
"You feel something grab your arm." He starts several dozen sentences, but always stops a few words in. His face goes totally pale.
"Little by little, it pulls you up against the wall. Then, with a sharp pull, it yanks you through the wall, which explodes in a cloud of dust! Your entire vision goes completely black...The wall reforms from it's splinters before you can react."
by this point, he's completely freaked out. after that, I have the remaining party member fight against a doll possessed with Abrams' soul, and move on. It ended being kind of a bland fight, but I'll never forget that look of total horror on that guy's face. I consider it a crowning achievement.
To all the DM's out there getting walked all over by your players, remember; you are the ruler of this world. predict their movements and punish them. don't be unfair, and make it make sense for things to happen to them, but also make it so there is no doubt in anyone's mind the one at fault is the player.
It's worth it, trust me.
Part of the map I made was a haunted house that had sunk into the ground. The idea was that they'd have to guess at which doors to go through, and some rooms were haunted. However, as I thought more and more about this, the more I thought that Abrams/Shadowsnake (seriously, that name sucks) would simply bust through the walls and make a beeline for the exit.
I thought of just having the walls be unbreakable, but I didn't like the idea of that. it'd just make the experience feel more like a video game. So I came up with an alternate plan, and it hinged entirely on Abrasnake breaking through the wall in the very first room. He doesn't do that, the whole thing falls apart, the encounter becomes crazy easy for everyone.
Like clockwork, the instant I tell him the walls are made of wood, he throws his finger into the air and shouts "I SMASH THROUGH THE DOOR!"
I don't even try to hide my grin. I tell him "You bash through the wall with your fist. Your hand is now in the other room."
"I pull my hand out and continue bashing through the door." he answers
"It gets stuck."
"What?" he says
"It gets stuck." I repeat. "You all start hearing giggling enter all corners of the room." I usually DM with a computer nearby, and so I start up "Hello Zepp" from Saw, which you can listen to Right Here (it'll open in a new tab)
"Make a strength check." I say. He rolls a twenty. I tell him "You tug and pull with all your might, finding strength you never knew you had, but to no avail."
"The giggling grows steadily louder." I slowly start turning up the speakers. The look on his face here is something to remember. Then, I up the ante.
"You feel something grab your arm." He starts several dozen sentences, but always stops a few words in. His face goes totally pale.
"Little by little, it pulls you up against the wall. Then, with a sharp pull, it yanks you through the wall, which explodes in a cloud of dust! Your entire vision goes completely black...The wall reforms from it's splinters before you can react."
by this point, he's completely freaked out. after that, I have the remaining party member fight against a doll possessed with Abrams' soul, and move on. It ended being kind of a bland fight, but I'll never forget that look of total horror on that guy's face. I consider it a crowning achievement.
To all the DM's out there getting walked all over by your players, remember; you are the ruler of this world. predict their movements and punish them. don't be unfair, and make it make sense for things to happen to them, but also make it so there is no doubt in anyone's mind the one at fault is the player.
It's worth it, trust me.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Well that's interesting.
The group's just got to level 2 after a dungeon I'm not particularly proud of. The whole place was filled with combat encounters with a massive ton of monsters. I don't like how it turned out in practice (everyone was pretty burned by the end) but hey, live and learn, right?
The group wakes up in an inn, finding the town totally deserted. They follow a note they've gotten of the chief of police after he tried to kill them (a long story, I'll probably post it later) to find a person named rosemary. They get a hint that the Chief of Police (Chief Harkness) lived by an old herbalist shop run by a middle aged woman, and they find that her and this "Rosemary" are one and the same.
Well they walk up to Rosemary's house, and she opens the door a crack and sees the group.
Rosemary: "You some kind of traveling circus?"
Yoggx't: "No. We're adventurers, you see, and we're looking for something. We could use your help."
Rosemary: "Look, I'm kind of busy evacuating with my husband, I don't really have time for this." *shuts door*
They knock again, and keep talking to her, and casually drop the bomb that not only was her good friend the Chief evil, but also that he tried to kill all of them. She shuts the door again, finding this crap ridiculous.
At this point, Shadowsnake is tired of not really being involved. He's a bit of a min-maxer and a rogue, so he tries to climb on the roof and get in through the skylight. After he gets there, he pulls Fline up behind him and they start to quietly remove the skylight. Because he's put an insane amount of points into these things, he makes the appropriate checks, and announces that he's going in through the skylight.
I ask him to make a Perception check.17. I tell him he sees Rosemary leaning against the door, rubbing her eyes and looking very depressed. He tells me that he walks behind her and puts his knife to her back.
Rosemary's husband is a fifth level Evoker who has just rolled higher on his stealth check than Shadowsnake did on perception. It's all I can do at this point not to laugh.
Very luckily, he fails his to hit roll against Shadow with Scorching Ray, but instead burns a hole in the house. Shadow starts making demands, but before he can say too much, Rosemary's Husband nails him with a Color Spray and he goes unconscious. At this point, the crap REALLY hits the fan.
Fline looks in the skylight and sees Shadow getting tied up by these people. He immediately shouts to The Monk to bust down the door, and The Monk, not knowing anything about the situation does so. Yoggx't is mortified by this point and is just wanting to distance himself from the insanity around him, so he just says "I don't do anything." anytime his turn comes up.
Rosemary's husband starts chucking fireballs at anyone in sight and Rosemary has a knife to Shadow's throat. Yoggx't finally steps in and restores some semblance of order. Rosemary's husband starts telling them if they want to talk, this is how it's going to work, and starts setting up a scenario where he would have an advantage, but nobody has a knife to their throat. He wants this set-up so they can talk, but if he needs to protect his wife, he can.
At this point, Shadow wakes up and informes me he's going to make a sleight of hand check to move the knife away from his jugular. He passes the check. Rosemary gasps, and initiative is rolled, again. Rosemary's Husband understandably is UBER-PISSED at the gall of this dude, and sets him on fire before a very annoyed Yoggx't can return the group to order again.
To make a long story short, they get what they wanted, decide it wasn't worth it, and head back to their underground batcave-style HQ.
Kind of wordy, and I think I left out a few vital details, but I'll be letting the players themselves comment on it and fill you in on their opinions. Thanks for bearing with me.
Yours Truly, D.M.
The group wakes up in an inn, finding the town totally deserted. They follow a note they've gotten of the chief of police after he tried to kill them (a long story, I'll probably post it later) to find a person named rosemary. They get a hint that the Chief of Police (Chief Harkness) lived by an old herbalist shop run by a middle aged woman, and they find that her and this "Rosemary" are one and the same.
Well they walk up to Rosemary's house, and she opens the door a crack and sees the group.
Rosemary: "You some kind of traveling circus?"
Yoggx't: "No. We're adventurers, you see, and we're looking for something. We could use your help."
Rosemary: "Look, I'm kind of busy evacuating with my husband, I don't really have time for this." *shuts door*
They knock again, and keep talking to her, and casually drop the bomb that not only was her good friend the Chief evil, but also that he tried to kill all of them. She shuts the door again, finding this crap ridiculous.
At this point, Shadowsnake is tired of not really being involved. He's a bit of a min-maxer and a rogue, so he tries to climb on the roof and get in through the skylight. After he gets there, he pulls Fline up behind him and they start to quietly remove the skylight. Because he's put an insane amount of points into these things, he makes the appropriate checks, and announces that he's going in through the skylight.
I ask him to make a Perception check.17. I tell him he sees Rosemary leaning against the door, rubbing her eyes and looking very depressed. He tells me that he walks behind her and puts his knife to her back.
Rosemary's husband is a fifth level Evoker who has just rolled higher on his stealth check than Shadowsnake did on perception. It's all I can do at this point not to laugh.
Very luckily, he fails his to hit roll against Shadow with Scorching Ray, but instead burns a hole in the house. Shadow starts making demands, but before he can say too much, Rosemary's Husband nails him with a Color Spray and he goes unconscious. At this point, the crap REALLY hits the fan.
Fline looks in the skylight and sees Shadow getting tied up by these people. He immediately shouts to The Monk to bust down the door, and The Monk, not knowing anything about the situation does so. Yoggx't is mortified by this point and is just wanting to distance himself from the insanity around him, so he just says "I don't do anything." anytime his turn comes up.
Rosemary's husband starts chucking fireballs at anyone in sight and Rosemary has a knife to Shadow's throat. Yoggx't finally steps in and restores some semblance of order. Rosemary's husband starts telling them if they want to talk, this is how it's going to work, and starts setting up a scenario where he would have an advantage, but nobody has a knife to their throat. He wants this set-up so they can talk, but if he needs to protect his wife, he can.
At this point, Shadow wakes up and informes me he's going to make a sleight of hand check to move the knife away from his jugular. He passes the check. Rosemary gasps, and initiative is rolled, again. Rosemary's Husband understandably is UBER-PISSED at the gall of this dude, and sets him on fire before a very annoyed Yoggx't can return the group to order again.
To make a long story short, they get what they wanted, decide it wasn't worth it, and head back to their underground batcave-style HQ.
Kind of wordy, and I think I left out a few vital details, but I'll be letting the players themselves comment on it and fill you in on their opinions. Thanks for bearing with me.
Yours Truly, D.M.
Intro
Hey guys, just thought I'd put down records of the hijinks that my gaming group gets in a la counter monkey. I'll just give you the basics of who's playing, and to protect the innocent, I'll only refer to them by they're character names.
Fline: An Elf ninja who has an insane STR and enjoys taking an up front aproach. IRL he's a fellow classmate of mine who just likes a good laugh. True Neutral
Yoggx't: A Half-Orc Oracle. The only sane member of the group, very blunt but also very honest. IRL He's a real roleplayer, hardly ever breaks character. He's most often seen facepalming at our group's antics. Chaotic Neutral
The Monk: A very quiet fellow, has yet to give the party his name. he's taken a vow of silence and is most frequently seen trying to punch and stab people to death. IRL He's shadowsnake's little brother who likes just playing his role and being able to say he's killed stuff BY PUNCHING THEM. Lawful Neutral.
Shadowsnake (sadly, i'm completely serious): a very...zealous rogue/knifemaster who oftentimes doesn't think his plans quite through before putting them into action. IRL one of my best friends, who started going to another school recently. Pathfinder gives us a way to hang out often, so it's pretty cool. Chaotic Neutral
Dangua Karkai: A quite insane Aasimar Alchemist known for losing track of time, sometimes by dozens of years, Dangua likes solving his problems with a Heavy Mace. IRL a very funny dude, and a fellow writer. very mellow, and has great taste in music. He has the least experiance with TRPG's out of all of us. Chaotic Neutral.
So the (Very Chaotic) group's all here. hope you enjoy the stories.
Fline: An Elf ninja who has an insane STR and enjoys taking an up front aproach. IRL he's a fellow classmate of mine who just likes a good laugh. True Neutral
Yoggx't: A Half-Orc Oracle. The only sane member of the group, very blunt but also very honest. IRL He's a real roleplayer, hardly ever breaks character. He's most often seen facepalming at our group's antics. Chaotic Neutral
The Monk: A very quiet fellow, has yet to give the party his name. he's taken a vow of silence and is most frequently seen trying to punch and stab people to death. IRL He's shadowsnake's little brother who likes just playing his role and being able to say he's killed stuff BY PUNCHING THEM. Lawful Neutral.
Shadowsnake (sadly, i'm completely serious): a very...zealous rogue/knifemaster who oftentimes doesn't think his plans quite through before putting them into action. IRL one of my best friends, who started going to another school recently. Pathfinder gives us a way to hang out often, so it's pretty cool. Chaotic Neutral
Dangua Karkai: A quite insane Aasimar Alchemist known for losing track of time, sometimes by dozens of years, Dangua likes solving his problems with a Heavy Mace. IRL a very funny dude, and a fellow writer. very mellow, and has great taste in music. He has the least experiance with TRPG's out of all of us. Chaotic Neutral.
So the (Very Chaotic) group's all here. hope you enjoy the stories.
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