New Player yet again

We have reason to welcome yet another new player to our game, one who has opted to play something heretofore unseen in our group: A dorf. I'd like to elaborate on his character's persona, but as Pathfinder has been delayed this week, it'll have to wait until Thursday. Our new player will be playing a Dwarf Fighter with a focus on AC. Most of the other players are glass cannons, so he could prove invaluable.

A long recap of the last 2 sessions.

A few familiar faces have been showing up in the game as of late.

The PCs have just been rooting around for a cavern they believe to be filled with supplies that Cadmus and his group have been storing for safekeeping. They've made this assumption because one night they were attacked by a goblin and Cadmus's Homunculus, which was carrying a map to this supposed storeroom.

They've also used this opportunity to resupply on various...well, supplies, thanks to a town being fairly close to this place, and have been asked by the general store owner to do a little digging and help her find out who robbed her a few months back. Following a tip from said store owner's daughter, they climb up a mountain to meet with an old hermit that supposedly collects gossip. The only thing they know about this guy is that his name is Montague.

Near the top of the hill, there is a bit of a cave that could be used as a den. They investigate this spot and see a gigantic sleeping dragon, who lets out a loud roar. The following exchange occurs.

The Monk: Oh crap! I-I hide off to the side of the cave!

Norn: I hide on the other side!

Tyr: I activate my invisibility and walk to the edge of the cave.

DM: The dragon takes a step outside, looks straight at Norn, turns and looks to the other side of the cave and sees The Monk, and then gives a shuffling motion that vaguely reminds you of shrugging.

Dragon: Mornin!

THE WHOLE TABLE: *uproarious laughter*

Sure enough the dragon is indeed the Montague they were told to find, and he's more than happy to hear them out and tell them what he knows in exchange for a few apples, which are dirt cheap in town.

Meanwhile, Shady elects to visit the storeroom to see if he can nab some treasure. He walks into the place and immediately sees a goblin charging at him, only to break a trip wire on the way. The goblin looks up at him in horror, then a wooden spear flies from seemingly nowhere to impale the thing through the chest. It spends it's last moments coughing blood in wretching agony.
Shady elects to wait for the others before exploring further.

Meanwhile, shopping and other stuff happens with Montague, and eventually they discover the burglar, resolving the sub-plot while Shady is about ready to tear their hair out waiting. Shady and the others FINALLY go ahead and get back to the storeroom, where they immediately take the branching path that leads directly to the most powerful monster in there, which happens to be a hydra. To be perfectly honest, this fight went actually really well. It was a decent challenge that resulted in some rather serious wounds on some characters, and they thought through it like a group, working together as a team should. I was actually really really impressed.

Anyways, they clean up the rest of the enemies in the place like it's nobody's business, and find a magic sword or two (I LOVE making really neat descriptions of these things, something I'll likely go into detail on later) and a few potions, treasure, standard stuff. They go outside and find that, sure enough, the whole thing was a trap. Cadmus is there with a whole squadron of bugbears, and he's gloating like his life depends on it. Suddenly, there's an explosion in the distance. A few moments later, half of the squadron is downed and off in the distance, the PCs see a ship that they all recognize immediately. The Blue Dragon, a ship owned by the PCs good friend Gonrin Weeve, has shown up for the first time in about 7 sessions. They can hear him shouting something, but can't really make out what it is. They quickly sweep up the remains of the group, killing Cadmus in the process, and soon set off to the wretched hive of scum and villainy that is the city of Corentyn.

I do actually play D&D as a player as well as a DM, in a different group. This...is the character I play: Cask.

Player update.

Yoggx't: Has died because of a crossbow bolt to the face. Sad, but necessary, as his player wants a new character, namely...

Tyr: A Sprite-blooded (custom player race of my own design) Sorcerer of the Sylvan bloodline  Who has a hatred of evil to the point of hating Shady (LE) and anyone associated with him. Usually refuses to cooperate with his plans.

Skuld Norn: A human cleric of Sarenrae, somewhat of a racist, but usually gets over it after having a few drinks with a member of said race. Boisterous and loud, as well as very resourceful. Easy to get along with.

Sir Schmoopy: An impulsive and hedonistic Half-Orc Barbarian who enjoys the rampant delights of a good old fashioned bar fight. Also likes simple pleasures, such as breaking doors, breaking bones, breaking bar counters, breaking tables...

Also, Mr. Toad has dropped out of the game, citing personal reasons.

What to expect when you're DMing.

I know it's been a while since I posted here, and I apologize for that.

 Recently, I find i'm learning more and more about not only being a DM but also a writer. Case in point, this last week's game.

I had planned out a short adventure hinging mostly on rescuing a gnome from the camp of a group of oddly well-organized goblins. (Lesson learned: The PC's are getting really freaking sick of goblins.) The way the PC's found out was by a gnomette(?) who they found wandering into their camp asking for food. After sharing their food with her, she told them her sad story of how she worked with a group of bandits, who had all been captured by said gobbies. This gnome, (Sercica, by the way) had been saved by the only other gnome in the group, Elkel, who being a gentleman, swiped the key to their manacles from the guard and unlocked hers, snapping the key in the process. She had since managed to put the key into a solution that should restore it, provided it stayed in a small box up until the manacles needed to be unlocked. She wanted the PC's to head into this camp and rescue Elkel for her. Shady is extremely interested because Elkel is supposed to have a magic compass, which Shady is looking for (there are several).

This is the bit I had been worrying about since I started writing this adventure. The plan was for Sercica to draw out the map (and OOC, I to draw the battle map) right there in front of them, as she recalled the goblin camp.

To my surprise, this part actually worked out amazingly well. Shady and the monk in particular took to this like a moth to flame, demanding details like how often guard's watches changed, exact locations of campfires, the range of goblin darkvision, leadership organization etc. etc. and the players were actually having a ball with the part I thought would be most difficult for them. (Lesson Learned: Players like feeling like their plans and ideas have weight. Which they should.)

So they head to the encampment, and start off the plan. Shady starts using Drow Poison to knock out a few of the guards, with the intention of slipping into the leader's camp and capturing him as a hostage. Both goblins fail their initial saves, and he gets in no problem. He finds the leader has a blindfolded homunculus, who assumes Shady is one of the goblin captains and ushers him inside. The leader is turned away from the door, Dr. Evil style and is scribbling out notes about finances. This exchange happens.

Leader guy (Cadmus): Ah, yes, Captain Clicks, right? We haven't spoken for a long time. Tell me, how is your son doing.

Shady: I don't recall having a son, sir.

At this point, I have to take a second to collect my thoughts. Shady has absolutely NO idea who this guy is, and yet, OOC, has managed to completely see through my bluff. It was actually incredibly impressive.

Long story short, he catches the guy off guard, knocks him out, and drags him out as a hostage. Meanwhile, outside, crap has hit the fan. One of the goblins has made his secondary save, and has woken up after 1 minute, and alerted the camp. The group has made a few contingencies for this, and activates a makeshift flare on the opposite side of the camp to distract them all. The whole group goes to the prisoners, finds Elkel, and gives him the box, which he opens and digs out the key, which is swimming in "Solution" He just manages to sputter out that Sercica tricked them all and that she swiped his key and his compass before the contact poison, made from alchemically dissolved cold iron, kills him.

Doing what they can for the rest of the prisoners, they manage to escape, dumping Cadmus in a hole as they go, and return to find Sercica still at their camp, feasting on their food.

After a few rounds of gnome punting, they let the remaining bandits take her away. And there was much rejoicing. (lesson learned: People like seeing the bad guy get theirs at the end.)

P.S. we have a few new player bios that need to go up, I'll get on that very soon.

Yo

Hey guys, Just thought I'd keep you updated on why there hasn't been an update in a while. We've played a game since last post, and there's a story in it I want to share, but I've been busy working out a new schedule for Pathfinder. With any luck, it'll mean that more people will be able to make it, and we'll play for longer, but not as often.

I'll keep all you dudes updated on it, and I'll post that story as soon as I can.

Thank you so much for your patience, you dudes are awesome!

One very disturbed NPC

Yoggx't as a whole is by and far the most sane out of the party, but he isn't without a few...quirks. Yoggx't's player is a huge fan of Order of the Stick, which is a little important to know so you understand where he's coming from on the following situation.

The group has just found a jeweler to sell some jewels they found in that aforementioned dungeon. they accidentally revealed that they took these particular jewels from that dungeon, and they should technically be the property of the town.

The Jeweler takes this in stride, and says that seeing as he has dirt on them, he offers to peddle them some magic items, which are illegal in the city. Yoggx't tells him he'll discuss it with him after he pawns off the jewels.

The group makes a good couple thousand GP, and Yoggx't asks about any item that can change the user's appearance to a different race. The jeweler sells him an amulet that makes him appear to be a tall half-elf for 750 GP. Then Yoggx't says this:

"Do you have any belts of reverse gender?"

The jeweler gives him a funny look and starts to talk when he cuts in;

"Oh, don't worry, just for entertainment."

The jeweler starts getting very uncomfortable and says "We don't carry an-"

"Oh, it's not for me; it's for him." Yoggx't's player points at Fline



 O_O


After a very long period of time, The (mortified) jeweler replies "Too much information, pal."

anyway, just felt that most of the time, the wackiness is centered around the other players, and so I'd share one quick story about Yoggx't. I guess the moral of the story is when you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.

Triumph against a campaign breaker

At this point in the story, our min-maxing friend Shadowsnake (I really hate that name) was playing a different character. He played an Oread Fighter named Abrams. I'll have to tell you, by this point I had picked up on this habit he had of intentionally trying to break my game, which came in handy.

Part of the map I made was a haunted house that had sunk into the ground. The idea was that they'd have to guess at which doors to go through, and some rooms were haunted. However, as I thought more and more about this, the more I thought that Abrams/Shadowsnake (seriously, that name sucks) would simply bust through the walls and make a beeline for the exit.

I thought of just having the walls be unbreakable, but I didn't like the idea of that. it'd just make the experience feel more like a video game. So I came up with an alternate plan, and it hinged entirely on Abrasnake breaking through the wall in the very first room. He doesn't do that, the whole thing falls apart, the encounter becomes crazy easy for everyone.


Like clockwork, the instant I tell him the walls are made of wood, he throws his finger into the air and shouts "I SMASH THROUGH THE DOOR!"

I don't even try to hide my grin. I tell him "You bash through the wall with your fist. Your hand is now in the other room."

"I pull my hand out and continue bashing through the door." he answers

"It gets stuck."



"What?" he says

"It gets stuck." I repeat. "You all start hearing giggling enter all corners of the room." I usually DM with a computer nearby, and so I start up "Hello Zepp" from Saw, which you can listen to Right Here (it'll open in a new tab)

"Make a strength check." I say. He rolls a twenty. I tell him "You tug and pull with all your might, finding strength you never knew you had, but to no avail."

"The giggling grows steadily louder." I slowly start turning up the speakers. The look on his face here is something to remember. Then, I up the ante.

"You feel something grab your arm." He starts several dozen sentences, but always stops a few words in. His face goes totally pale.

"Little by little, it pulls you up against the wall. Then, with a sharp pull, it yanks you through the wall, which explodes in a cloud of dust! Your entire vision goes completely black...The wall reforms from it's splinters before you can react."

by this point, he's completely freaked out. after that, I have the remaining party member fight against a doll possessed with Abrams' soul, and move on. It ended being kind of a bland fight, but I'll never forget that look of total horror on that guy's face. I consider it a crowning achievement.

To all the DM's out there getting walked all over by your players, remember; you are the ruler of this world. predict their movements and punish them. don't be unfair, and make it make sense for things to happen to them, but also make it so there is no doubt in anyone's mind the one at fault is the player.
It's worth it, trust me.

Well that's interesting.

The group's just got to level 2 after a dungeon I'm not particularly proud of. The whole place was filled with combat encounters with a massive ton of monsters. I don't like how it turned out in practice (everyone was pretty burned by the end) but hey, live and learn, right?

The group wakes up in an inn, finding the town totally deserted. They follow a note they've gotten of the chief of police after he tried to kill them (a long story, I'll probably post it later) to find a person named rosemary. They get a hint that the Chief of Police (Chief Harkness) lived by an old herbalist shop run by a middle aged woman, and they find that her and this "Rosemary" are one and the same.

Well they walk up to Rosemary's house, and she opens the door a crack and sees the group.

Rosemary: "You some kind of traveling circus?"

Yoggx't: "No. We're adventurers, you see, and we're looking for something. We could use your help."

Rosemary: "Look, I'm kind of busy evacuating with my husband, I don't really have time for this." *shuts door*

They knock again, and keep talking to her, and casually drop the bomb that not only was her good friend the Chief evil, but also that he tried to kill all of them. She shuts the door again, finding this crap ridiculous.

At this point, Shadowsnake is tired of not really being involved. He's a bit of a min-maxer and a rogue, so he tries to climb on the roof and get in through the skylight. After he gets there, he pulls Fline up behind him and they start to quietly remove the skylight. Because he's put an insane amount of points into these things, he makes the appropriate checks, and announces that he's going in through the skylight.

I ask him to make a Perception check.17. I tell him he sees Rosemary leaning against the door, rubbing her eyes and looking very depressed. He tells me that he walks behind her and puts his knife to her back.



Rosemary's husband is a fifth level Evoker who has just rolled higher on his stealth check than Shadowsnake did on perception. It's all I can do at this point not to laugh.

Very luckily, he fails his to hit roll against Shadow with Scorching Ray, but instead burns a hole in the house. Shadow starts making demands, but before he can say too much, Rosemary's Husband nails him with a Color Spray and he goes unconscious. At this point, the crap REALLY hits the fan.

Fline looks in the skylight and sees Shadow getting tied up by these people. He immediately shouts to The Monk to bust down the door, and The Monk, not knowing anything about the situation does so. Yoggx't is mortified by this point and is just wanting to distance himself from the insanity around him, so he just says "I don't do anything." anytime his turn comes up.

Rosemary's husband starts chucking fireballs at anyone in sight and Rosemary has a knife to Shadow's throat. Yoggx't finally steps in and restores some semblance of order. Rosemary's husband starts telling them if they want to talk, this is how it's going to work, and starts setting up a scenario where he would have an advantage, but nobody has a knife to their throat. He wants this set-up so they can talk, but if he needs to protect his wife, he can.

At this point, Shadow wakes up and informes me he's going to make a sleight of hand check to move the knife away from his jugular. He passes the check. Rosemary gasps, and initiative is rolled, again. Rosemary's Husband understandably is UBER-PISSED at the gall of this dude, and sets him on fire before a very annoyed Yoggx't can return the group to order again.

To make a long story short, they get what they wanted, decide it wasn't worth it, and head back to their underground batcave-style HQ.

Kind of wordy, and I think I left out a few vital details, but I'll be letting the players themselves comment on it and fill you in on their opinions. Thanks for bearing with me.
                                                                                                             Yours Truly, D.M.

Intro

Hey guys, just thought I'd put down records of the hijinks that my gaming group gets in a la counter monkey. I'll just give you the basics of who's playing, and to protect the innocent, I'll only refer to them by they're character names.

Fline: An Elf ninja who has an insane STR and enjoys taking an up front aproach. IRL he's a fellow classmate of mine who just likes a good laugh. True Neutral

Yoggx't: A Half-Orc Oracle. The only sane member of the group, very blunt but also very honest. IRL He's a real roleplayer, hardly ever breaks character. He's most often seen facepalming at our group's antics. Chaotic Neutral

The Monk: A very quiet fellow, has yet to give the party his name. he's taken a vow of silence and is most frequently seen trying to punch and stab people to death. IRL He's shadowsnake's little brother who likes just playing his role and being able to say he's killed stuff BY PUNCHING THEM. Lawful Neutral.

Shadowsnake (sadly, i'm completely serious): a very...zealous rogue/knifemaster who oftentimes doesn't think his plans quite through before putting them into action. IRL one of my best friends, who started going to another school recently. Pathfinder gives us a way to hang out often, so it's pretty cool. Chaotic Neutral

Dangua Karkai: A quite insane Aasimar Alchemist known for losing track of time, sometimes by dozens of years, Dangua likes solving his problems with a Heavy Mace. IRL a very funny dude, and a fellow writer. very mellow, and has great taste in music. He has the least experiance with TRPG's out of all of us. Chaotic Neutral.

So the (Very Chaotic) group's all here. hope you enjoy the stories.